| The Craw – Season 2023 - 2024 |
| Thanks to everyone who took the time to email me back with whatever it is burning your bums and sticking in your craw. Well done to all the winners of the many competitions that we all work so hard to compete in. I think this season, the level of competition at the top of the league was the highest it’s ever been. Some monster scores, three players with identical record and 4 th place just one win off top spot says it all. Hats off to Mick for playing a tactical move that was weeks in the making. It just shows that if you want to win this thing you need to bring more than just footy knowledge. Good luck to everyone next season, Davey (The Craw Dad) Below is the list of managers, what they see as what went against them and what I have found in the stats that is at the best embarrassing, and at the worst “crap your pants” hilarious. |
| Mick - Crouching Eidur |
| Manager - I don't think my craws will be given due consideration after the season I've just had, and my memory is shocking, but the one that sticks out for me is wasting my #1 draft pick on Marcus Rashford. He started 26 EPL games. Came on as a sub 7 times. Scored 7 goals. An awful return. Craw Dad – A well-played season by the Chismaster General. But when you are fourth in scoring but “first” in opponent’s score you have to think that the footy gods were on your side |
| Liam - Hatem's Wildcards |
| Manager - A chance to stay at the top and probably my 8 top point scorers were unavailable due to the FA Cup. And my score was one of the 5 who joined 'the Ugly' list. Great stuff all around. Even Trafford got dropped. How's that for luck? Just to add to this, losing with 161 points was pretty tough to take... Craw Dad – Winning the last two games of the season is all well and good but losing the two before despite scoring 161.3 and 126 made it a bridge too far for the first loser. |
| Norm - The Hounds of Hellström |
| Manager – Well mine is simple enough. That's Right! Gameweek friggin 17. Playing Fred, and cruising along to a comfortable win and then what. Tom Lockyer collapses and they abandon the game. Both of my keepers out so no Auto Subs and I lost 2 players so I am also short. Fred on the other hand picks up 3 Auto Subs who combine for over 30 points and there goes my win and the league H2H Championship. Typical!! Craw Dad – When you finish third in the final standings but only 7 th in both “Play Em All Index” and scoring, while opponent score is only second to the champion it’s pretty obvious you got the right opponents on the right weeks. |
| Nic - Bayo's Back in Town |
| Manager – No entry Craw Dad – How must it hurt to know you were top in the “Play Em All Index” and scoring but only 4 th on the final table? |
| Ben - Bruno is A Man! |
| Manager – No entry Craw Dad – The Ruud Feud champion is left to spend the long hot summer nights with just his pussy to stroke |
| Sandy - We're No Angels |
| Manager – No entry Craw Dad – Honestly a pretty solid season with no obvious screw ups. You have to trawl through the LTI scores to find anything remotely embarrassing. Imagine losing in the 4 th round of the cup by a score of 67.7 to 66.6. That’s got to sting a little. |
| Jon - Same Old Shearer |
| Manager – No entry Craw Dad – managed to post the worst record for the team that lost the HCM Cup by just 2 points. Even the worst team in the league managed to outscore him by 1.5 points |
| Brandy - Hooper's Corner Hookers |
| Manager – No entry Craw Dad – Eliminated from European competition at the earliest opportunity is not the fate of any team that was once dominant and considers itself “elite”. Neither is finishing 8 th in the league either. Feels like a summer of contemplation is needed |
| Wayne - The Devils' Wolves |
| Manager - A four week spell that saw me clearing a hundred points in each (including a big high score of 163) which netted me only two wins thanks to high scoring micro defeats to Fred and Sandy. Ruined what could have been a decent late run. Oh and Pascal Gross. Always Pascal Gross. Every time I come up against him he puts up thirty plus. The one season I traded for him he had his worse run of injuries and his big scores were infrequent at best. It’s personal, he is the Sting of the Premier League. Craw Dad – Not good enough to compete at the top, and not bad enough to be considered in trouble near the bottom. A narrow victory against a much better team at the end of the season meant there was redemption. Almost feels like Wayne was trying to emulate Ten Haag. |
| Jack - Paddy Power |
| Manager – No entry Craw Dad – A record of 14 -0-22 is not great. Losing all three games to the worst team in the league is a stain that can’t be washed away easily. Hosting Claude for 7 weeks is nothing to be proud of. |
| Fred - The Other Dino |
| Manager – No entry Craw Dad – Week 29 was brutal with every slot on the “Bad” grid taken during this game week. Leading (?) the way was The Flintstone Cop with a paltry 20.8 |
| Davey - The Sterling Silva Kompany |
| Manager – Oh, where to start? Scoring 120+ points on 5 occasions and losing every time? Scoring 162+ points one week and not only losing but ending up third on the “Ugly List” for the season? Drafting / Picking up / Trading for strikers the week before they all get long term injuries? Maybe just to say that the inverse Midas Touch is alive and kicking and living rent-free in my head. Craw Dad – Last, or close to last in all offensive categories means a shameful season by any measure. “At least I’m not as bad as Derby County” should never be used as an excuse, but here we are. |
| OJB Final Standings |
| 1. Crouching Eidur |
| 2. Hatem's Wildcards |
| 3. The Hounds of Hellström |
| 4. Bayo's Back in Town |
| 5. Bruno is A Man! |
| 6. We're No Angels |
| 7. Same Old Shearer |
| 8. Hooper's Corner Hookers |
| 9. The Devils" Wolves |
| 10. Paddy Power |
| 11. The Other Dino |
| 12. The Sterling Silva Kompany |
| . |